Personals: Author seeks male protagonist with weakness for gingersnaps

Writer of unconventional literary fiction seeks male character for leading role in new novel. Should be middle-aged, articulate, married and physically nondescript.

Writer is a nocturnal animal. Has a slight problem with authority. Has never owned a cat or lived in Texas. Has sweet-tooth, 10-year-old Toyota and some particularly fond memories of one night back in 1985. Has been described by some Pollyanna-ish types as an angsty loner, but doesn't see it himself. Has a weakness for red wine, BBC mysteries and gingersnaps. No allergies, no credit-card debt, no history of mental illness.

Is looking for impulsive, self-indulgent, abstract thinker with stubborn streak. Should have reliable transportation, college degree, fear of heights and easily mockable (psychologically suggestive) obsession with punctuality. Should not be ostentatiously gregarious as author would occasionally like to use as mouthpiece and is likely to find natural expressions of an unbridled conviviality incomprehensible and disorienting.

Intimacy issues and sense of humor a plus.

Complicated interior life a plus.

Tendency to pontificate -- however mordantly -- on the subjects of the day, not a plus.

While character should be reasonably fit and reasonably coordinated, no hiking, sailing, skiing or camping will be required. Should prefer chicken to fish, football to baseball, Camus to Sartre. Should like movies, the occasional trip to the beach, and pretty much anything with garlic in it.

Would be helpful if character lived in a high-rise apartment building.

The writer will, in all likelihood, be indulging yet again his habitual inclination to fiddle with narrative form. He is aware of -- but not preoccupied with -- the peculiarities of his medium. While he does not intend to make the processes of narration the foundation of the narration, he will not shy away from the stray meta-whimsical intrusion. Whatever the formal frolics, prospective character should rest assured that ultimately he will be the subject -- what gives his life meaning, what makes him happy, what makes him unhappy.

The writer's goal -- as he seems to see it -- is not so much to forge in the smithy of his soul the uncreated conscience of his race as to simply find a new way of telling a story.

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